I Couldn't Resist

I couldn't resist.

I just couldn't help myself.

I told myself I would not call
and I would not text
and I would walk away
because I hadn't heard from her
and part of me
didn't want to hear from her
out of fear that
I would break down and want her
in my bed once again
because I was tired of it
being empty.

But I couldn't resist.

Her number was still
in my cell phone directory.
It was the first number in the list
and the only number present
with a previous contact.
And so I typed it in
and typed in my text.
Nothing major or mushy,
just a simple hello
just to see how she was.

I couldn't resist.

She texted me back.
She said things were fine.
I tried to ask about
if anything new was going on.
She said
she was seeing someone.
That's what is new
and it's not me.
I deserved that and so
I wished her well,
ending the conversation
regretting I did
start one in the first place.

But I couldn't resist.