Home

I tried to go it alone
and forge my own path
but it never felt like home.
It was simply a place
to put my things
and lay my head.
There was no warmth there
and it showed on my weary face.
But then I found home.
It welcomed me in
with open arms and it
washed me clean with its love.
It fed me nourishing food
and it gave me a place to rest.
Now that worn and weary face
resides no more in the mirror.
Instead the mirror reflects
hope and optimism.
Home brought it all back
and now it's home
that sends me back out into the world
to go on another day.

When I Think of You

When I think of you,
I think of rays of sunshine
because your smile warms me
like a summer day.
I see your cheery manners
and it radiates within me
and it makes me feel good.

When I think of you,
I look up at the sars
and I know your eyes
can outshine them all.
Sometimes I wonder if
the constellations ever get jealous
of your beauty.

When I think of you,
I cry just a little
because I miss you so much.
You are so far away
so I keep your memory
fresh in my mind
until we meet again.

Bliss

I open my mind
and shut off the world
to find my corner of the sky
because I need to find a place
where my spirit can run free.
This world holds me down
with so many rules,
both written and unwritten.
It tells me all about my place
that I'm assigned to occupy.
But today I'm selfish.
I want my own joy.
So I come to this haven
where I can be what I want
and go where I want
and do what I want.
In this place
nothing is impossible.
It's so beautiful here.
I just wish I could
bring this back to my reality.

No Dreams For The Dreamer

There will be no more dreams for the dreamer
for none of his dreams have come true.
Now emptiness has engulfed the dreamer
as he wonders what else he can do.

His dreams of hope have turned to heartache.
His dreams of joy have turned to pain.
His dreams of love have turned to heartbreak
and the rest have gone down the drain.

The dreamer has nothing to hold on to
but the pillow where lays his head.
Everything else that resided in his dream world
has shriveled up and gone dead.

What do we do for the dreamer now
to give him a boost and help him along?
Who has a kind word to cheer him up somehow
and who can sing him a happy song?

For if there are no more dreams for the dreamer
then that we all doomed to fall
because if hope is lost for the dreamer
then there is nothing but lost hope for us all.

Degree of Separation

Here we are
in this degree of separation.
We used to be so close
but now we are so far apart.
Do you remember the time
when we walked arm in arm,
when we stood side by side,
and nothing else mattered?
Those were the best times of our lives.
Now everything has changed.
Time and circumstance
has pushed us apart
and sometimes I feel
we cannot stand together
despite the past we share
and I know that wishing
the past to return is a
fruitless endeavor.
So here we are
moving further and further apart
and all either of us can do
is wave goodbye.

Transition (Last Visit)

Easter morning
Dad told me
Grandmother was in transition.

The doctor had said earlier
she could be kept
alive with a feeding tube

but Dad had said no,
to let nature
take its course.

So after church
the family went to see
Grandmother once more.

She lay in bed
unable to speak and
unable to lie still,

trying to turn over
but with nowhere to turn.
The room stayed silent

as we all just watched
her toss and turn,
open and close her lifeless eyes,

and reach for the bed rails
or thin air or
something we knew

nothing about.  We didn't
stay too long, but it was
long enough to see

the beginning of the end,
transition from life into
death.  It would be the

last time, this I knew well.
But before we left, we all
got to say goodbye.

Easter

O happy day! He
is risen!  Let the whole world
sing Hallelujah!

Past Love

It all came back in
a flash. How I used to love
you. The pleasure then

brings me agony
in the present, agony
of reopened wounds

that never really
healed. They were simply holes that
lingered without care.

But you came along
back into my life and now
I know just how much

I loved you. But we
can't go back and pick up where we
left off. We have to

move on painfully
into the future as friends.
But all I ask is

this. May I have just
one final kiss goodbye and
then we can go on

and laugh and smile and
remember how things were and
smile at tomorrow.

Tempting

Don't tease me.
Don't show me
you were thinking about
taking a route here
instead of going home.

Don't tease me.
You know you and I
have got a thing going.
So let's do something
to get things going.

The picture was
tempting enough. Now
the though of you
thinking of me
is tempting me more.

Tempting me to want you
more than ever, to have you
here and be the lover
you dream of. Just break away
and make things real.

Love Unfulfilled

Lovers reunite
too late to restart their affair.
Sadly their chance missed.

Dreaming About Her

It's a pointless endeavor
dreaming about her.
It's only making me feel
more alone than ever.

Maybe it's not her
that I want, but rather
something different than
the single suburbanites

who have nothing to
talk about except work
and weekend shopping trips
and prevouis bad dates.

They want it all
but the dreams are too simple
and they want the man
of their dreams the same way.

But her, oh her.
You can hear her smarts.
You can feel her emotions.
You can sense her sensualities.

I dream a lot about her,
probably too much.
But it's always the good ones
that a man never forgets.

But it's always the good ones
that are already spoken for
and so there I am,
pressed against the glass

watching inside and
wishing for something
that cannot be, caught in
a longing that some folks

would call a sin.  I guess
for now I'll be that sinner
until I can figure how to
turn around and walk away,

finding some sense of comfort
in my solitude until someone
else who can be available
and bless me with her presence.

Morning

Voices in my sleep keep me from rest.
These voices speak to me
in all kinds of tones.
Some say I'm good.
Some say I'm just OK.
Some say I suck.
Now in my restlessness
I wonder which one is right.
They all seem to make
very reasonable arguments.
Maybe they're all right.
Maybe they're all wrong.
Maybe I just need to sleep.
But in my head
dreams keep coming up
showing me in all kinds of situations.
I do good,
I do bad,
I live,
and I even die.
It keeps me running
as I toss and turn in my bed.
The minutes tick by
and each one feels like a lifetime.
I try to sleep
but then I awake
and I look at the clock
watching it move
from one minute to the next.
I need to sleep
because tomorrow is approaching.
But these dreams of mine
keep taking up all of my time.
I want to rest
but I'm way too involved.
Are my dreams
trying to tell me something?
Are they
trying to take me somewhere?
I don't know.
I'm trying to decipher them.

But damn,
my alarm just went off.
Tomorrow is here.
Time to get up.

Grandmother

Dad said
Grandmother was not well
and I needed to see her.

So he and I went to
the nursing home
where she now resides.

She lay in bed
feeling too weak to rise.
Her eyes wandered

toward the window
looking outward
at the sun before

looking at Dad and I.
She wanted to speak
but words didn't come

out and soon after,
she fell asleep.  I watched
Dad take a seat next

to her bed and I sat
at the foot and we watched
her rest.  She looked

tired and weary. Dad said
she had an infection and
was dehydrated.  We talked

about other stuff as she slept
for there was nothing
either of us could say

to her now.  Dad and I,
son and grandson
just watch over her.

I Couldn't Resist

I couldn't resist.

I just couldn't help myself.

I told myself I would not call
and I would not text
and I would walk away
because I hadn't heard from her
and part of me
didn't want to hear from her
out of fear that
I would break down and want her
in my bed once again
because I was tired of it
being empty.

But I couldn't resist.

Her number was still
in my cell phone directory.
It was the first number in the list
and the only number present
with a previous contact.
And so I typed it in
and typed in my text.
Nothing major or mushy,
just a simple hello
just to see how she was.

I couldn't resist.

She texted me back.
She said things were fine.
I tried to ask about
if anything new was going on.
She said
she was seeing someone.
That's what is new
and it's not me.
I deserved that and so
I wished her well,
ending the conversation
regretting I did
start one in the first place.

But I couldn't resist.

Saturday Weather

Nature is intense.
It can destroy just as it
can create beauty.

Dreams and Reality

Some people realize
while the rest just dream
of what it is
to realize.

The Painter

The painter stands
in a freeze frame
staring,
thinking,
checking the angles
within her imagination
to see what to
put on the canvas.
She thinks over and over
where the paintbrush
needs to lay next.
The room is silent
as she ponders her move.
Then she's off
moving, moving, moving!
The paint flies
as the brush moves with precision.
She's in a zone now,
going into motion
forgetting about time,
about space,
about the world
until she has what she wants,
her imagination realized
on her now colorful canvas.

Circles

Why do I feel like
I've been here before?
The panels on the walls,
the grains on the ceilings,
and even the strands in the carpet
all look the same.
I try to kid myself,
but my realistic mind
just won't fall for false optimism.
I cannot deny it.
I am at the same position again.
Should I laugh or cry?
That's all I have to choose from.
But why choose?
Somehow I'll be back
to this point again
once I leave for my life
seems to be going in circles
and I can only pray
that this spinning will stop.

Are You Happy Now

I heard from a coworker that they saw you.
It had been forever since you've
shown up at our office.
You told her you gave birth
to a daughter over a year ago.
Congratulations, Mother.

Are you happy now?

I take it you made everything
work out with him, the same man
who you were once afraid of, the same man
who couldn't control his anger.
You told me that you two
could work it all out in the end.

Are you happy now?
You've got it all now.
The man, the child, the job,
respected and loved by all.
I bet you came in with a grin
when you saw my coworker
after all this time.

So are you happy now?

I bet you didn't even
think of me. Don't you remember
we were friends?
We were friends.
Maybe time and aspirations
made you forget that.

So are you happy now?

I'm trying not to be hurt,
resentful, or bitter. You have
what you have and I'm
trying to do my own thing.
So be it. But if you can hear me,
I'd just like to ask one thing.

Are you happy now?

Baseball

Spring is here and the
Grand Old Game is back.  Time for
a trip to the park.

Rain Check On Our Date

She called right before
I was about to get dressed.
Tonight all messed up.

Infatuation

Sometimes I wish I
could fly.  Maybe that would make
her pay attention.

Cherry Blossoms in DC

Tree limbs hang over the walkways
as the cherry blossoms create
a floral archway for the world
to take in its beauty
as they walk through
and take pictures
and capture this moment,
this moment where these blooms
with the clear skyline and glowing sun
provide a natural masterpiece
that Nature can only provide.

Secret

Tell me a secret.
Tell me something that the world
wouldn't know before,

something no one would
ever guess in a million
years.  Just let me know

something beyond your
cordial persona that you
normally present.

What hides behind those
eyes of yours?  What do you think
about in your mind?

So tell me what you
are, more than what the others
know I'll keep it

a secret.