Ronin

Ronin – a samurai warrior in feudal Japan without a master or lord.

I was supposed to fall on my sword
 
The Japanese call it seppuku:
honorable suicide;
when a samurai lost his master
he was supposed to die
for his knowledge of self
and his knowledge of the world
and his knowledge of the code
but without his master
made him dangerous.
 
But there were no swords for me
 
for I was not to be warrior.
I was to be a partner,
do my job and provide for my house,
teach the children well,
love my spouse,
and do this day in and
day out without complaints,
which meant the warrior that resided
within me had to die.
 
But I never committed seppuku.
 
I live my life by my
own standards, some learned
from elders and some
on my own. But that has made me
feel just like the ronin,
wandering about place to place,
causing some to be
uncomfortable simply by being
the man that I am
 
for the warrior in me is so many things.
 
A fighter and a lover,
a king and a magician,
dangerous and righteous,
sophisticated and vibrant,
living and loving fearlessly,
even embracing that hurt and pain
may loom in the distance.
But still I travel like a vagabond
hoping to find a place to call home
 
and be the samurai I yearn to be.