I heard a guy say once that being single was not all that it was cracked up to be; that it was nothing more than Web surfing and TV watching. I had to laugh at that because I thought it was not only funny, but untrue. I'm still single and I had never experienced that kind of low feeling....
until last Friday night when I found myself with nothing to do but watch TV and surf the Web. This scene was not a laughing matter anymore. In fact, I was bored to tears. Going through the same sites over and over again and with nothing on the tube, I was a rather dull (and single) person.
My friend called me later that night and before even saying hello asked, "Why aren't you on a hot date?" That sounded like a good question, but I also know that "hot date" and living in the suburbs don't really go together. Say "hot date" around here and you'll scare people. People go on "first dates" or "casual dates" or "dinner dates", but not "hot dates". I think those are only for "Sex And The City" episodes and I'm pretty sure none of those four women live anywhere near me. Plus, as much as women LOVED watching that show, not many would have the guts to live their lives like that.
The last "hot date" I had was with a fellow writer who loved to talk about what was happening in the city, loved cooking and wine, and loved to make love to me. She was the type I enjoyed connecting with on all levels and I thought things would go much further....
until she broke things off, claiming it was a matter of "feelings". The "feelings" for the altar that she just missed out on with her previous ex. The "feelings" of being introduced in social circles as "his wife". The "feelings" that she didn't feel with me. I tried to let it not affect me and accept it as one of those things that happen. But I realized that that was about as close to an organic feeling of connection that I had ever experienced and I hadn't seen anything like that since.
Dating has now become like a child's puzzle game where only square pegs are allowed to fit into square holes. People place down their likes and dislikes almost as if it were a personal credo and no one is allowed to get close unless they meet specific criteria. No one meets for the sake of meeting anymore.
And so I'll be still here, trying not to get stuck in that rut anymore. But it may be inevitable. At least the Web and TV can temporarily help me forget I'm sitting at home all alone for another night.