Fear of not living up
to expectations set by
family and elders, to
not be that good little boy
that everyone wanted, to
not grow up to be that
good man that everyone
hoped for. I did it all
because I was afraid
to get off the road.
But now, even with
where I stand, there
is a feeling that
gnaws at my soul
telling me I should’ve
done more, that I
gave away too much
time trying to be nice,
hoping each day that
no one would be mad at me.
Fear has left me alone
in my bed, feeling
tormented and emasculated,
forever less than the
man I dream about while
I sleep, the superhero that
donned his cape, flew
through the air, saved the
world, and swept the pretty
ladies off their feet.
But there are no capes
in my closet, nor do I
fly or even garner a
notice from any female.
Nothing about me is
considered extraordinary
and many days I do not
feel loved or liked or
even here. Maybe that’s
becomes my biggest fear,
Fear of becoming a faceless
being, just one of the
multitudes that go to and
fro like ants marching to
their colonies. But no one
around can write my song,
so I keep trying to find
the right words before
facing my ultimate fear:
running out of time.
3 comments:
i can relate to this...i also had the feeling i could never make it right when i was a kid - and in my case it ended in total rebellion when i was a teenager when i decided i do everything wrong on purpose..was a hard time..and think we all want to sing that song with a voice that is clearly ours before the end comes...a felt write vernon...
that is an all too real fear my friend....i never really lived up to where i thought the expectations were as a kid so my story is similar to claudias in that regard....great write man...did i see this at dverse tonight? did not see your link just followed your comment back...
It is hard to believe the ladies don't find this poetry really attractive. This type of openness is hard to find. I can relate to never feeling I've met expectations as well, although they are mostly my own. Perhaps I dream too big? Great write.
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