Complex

Maybe I've read too many stories
about complex men and
how they try to live their lives.
They carry a knowledge that
life and love and sex
have to be taken on a dare.
And they dare
despite the possibility
being disappointed in the end.
But where I reside,
one can't live like that.
The surroundings just wouldn't understand.
Too many people already have
chiseled away their complexities
so they can fit neatly
into square pegs.
Anything else is looked at
with suspicsion and scorn.
That's where I reside,
a place of conformity,
a place where "compelling"
is manufactured into an hour long TV drama.
"Compelling" and "intriguing" can instead
scare the bejesus out of people
when witnessed up close.
So maybe in my quest to keep
complexity in my life,
to keep the many sides of me
active and living,
I may have to walk alone,
to live and love and make love,
as a dare to the prospects
of maybe being
disappointed in the end.